Happy Mother's Day

My very first Mother's Day today which is a weird feeling as I am a mummy to a gorgeous little boy which I never imagined I'd have and its forever, that is a responsibility.

My Present

I think I was 25 when I first started getting broody but I wanted to get married before I had a child, I think I'm a bit old fashioned that way but it was another 3 years before I finally got a ring on my finger then a month after that we started trying for a baby which was a very difficult time as after each month I was left disappointed and started to get so obsessed, everywhere I looked I saw baby bumps I was so jealous because i wanted one so badly. I remember being in a clothes shop and I saw this very young mum ignoring her child then looked down to see she had a baby bump and just felt so angry because I thought she probably wasn't even bothered I maybe wrong but when it's the only thing you want it's hard to smile especially when you see mums shouting at there kids as you just think they don't realise how lucky they are.

After a year of trying I started to come to terms that it may never happen so wondered what I could do with my life. I suggested to my husband we should sell everything and go travelling as why do we need a house, why do we need to be slaves to jobs, why do we need all this stuff if we aren't going to have a family so why don't we just enjoy life and do what we want to do - he wasn't keen as he loves his stuff he has collected over the years but I just didn't understand. This was my positive thinking for the future without children I carried on thinking this way then I had an opportunity at work which lifted my spirits as it meant I may actually work towards a worthwhile career and enjoy it and then BOOM it happened I found I was 5 weeks pregnant my thoughts were woohoo! Omg, is this really what I want, worry, scared, nervous as I actually have to give birth but while thinking these things I had a smile on my face this is what I have wanted - it took approx 14 months to get there but I was actually going to have a baby.

I've now been a mum for 11 months and it has been the best thing that has happened to me and the hardest as it really does turn your life upside down.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mums, mums to be and want to be mums out there.