Argh! Kids

Struggling at the moment with my children the last few days they have just screamed and pestered me to the brink of me going insane.

At times I just haven't known what to do so ended up screaming back at them. I thought motherhood would be enjoyable but I'm not feeling that way. I feel like a slave as all it seems to be is cooking, cleaning, washing, changing nappies and tidying constantly. I feel lonely as I seem to be coping on my own with little help even though I'm always saying 'I need help'. My freedom has disappeared I can't even go to the toilet on my own without being pestered. My mood is awful as I'm constantly tired and stressed out. I'm starting to feel like I really don't want to read books or play toys with them as I just don't have the energy and begrudge the lack of time I have to myself.

It's awful to feel this way especially as it was what I really wanted for years. I was so jealous of people who had babies but now I'm jealous of people with freedom. Even other mums seem to get nights out with friends or partners so why can't I.

After constant moaning 'I need a break' my hubby took both kids to his parents last Saturday so I could have a few hours . Finally he listened I thought so I had a look round shops without kids whining and a soak in the bath in silence but then received a text to say to join them as surely 6 hours was enough uh! No it wasn't but I went anyway as I felt guilty. As soon as I got there I'm handed Joel to feed and entertain - what a joke. Everyone needs time out I'm no different I think I need to grow some balls and demand time and say no when I don't want to do something. Other people get away with it so why shouldn't I it's not being selfish its to keep me sane and an attempt to enjoy being at home with my kids. 

Toddler Stress

I don't think I have been prepared for the toddler tantrums and the phase of terrible two's as they call them, I hope it doesn't last long but Ollie isn't quite two yet :(

Over the past week I have found Ollie incredibly hard work with shouting, screaming, hitting, banging, constantly pestering and wanting everything NOW. Even changing his nappy and getting him dressed had become a massive chore.
I tell him off but it hits deaf ears or he laughs which winds me up even more, I keep telling myself he's only 23 months and its what they do but its so hard to keep calm. I've started shouting myself as he just goes too far and I just can't keep my cool. When he's naughty we tend to put him in his cot as that is the only place he doesn't get out of but even then he bangs, shouts and screams so the neighbours must think what the hell am I doing.
When I have had sleep I can normally handle it and take a deep breathe and distract him with something but on hardly any sleep at all I'm shouting back at him which makes it worse and I just don't have the energy for all the attention he needs, I just find it all so stressful that I can't wait for him to go to a nursery but we can't afford to pay for him yet so i'll have to wait for the free 15 hours they get. For now the only break we get us at bedtime.

The last couple of days have been even more difficult because I have a bad back yet again which also stressed me out.

I would love to know how all you other mummies deal with the tantrums.