Argh! Kids

Struggling at the moment with my children the last few days they have just screamed and pestered me to the brink of me going insane.

At times I just haven't known what to do so ended up screaming back at them. I thought motherhood would be enjoyable but I'm not feeling that way. I feel like a slave as all it seems to be is cooking, cleaning, washing, changing nappies and tidying constantly. I feel lonely as I seem to be coping on my own with little help even though I'm always saying 'I need help'. My freedom has disappeared I can't even go to the toilet on my own without being pestered. My mood is awful as I'm constantly tired and stressed out. I'm starting to feel like I really don't want to read books or play toys with them as I just don't have the energy and begrudge the lack of time I have to myself.

It's awful to feel this way especially as it was what I really wanted for years. I was so jealous of people who had babies but now I'm jealous of people with freedom. Even other mums seem to get nights out with friends or partners so why can't I.

After constant moaning 'I need a break' my hubby took both kids to his parents last Saturday so I could have a few hours . Finally he listened I thought so I had a look round shops without kids whining and a soak in the bath in silence but then received a text to say to join them as surely 6 hours was enough uh! No it wasn't but I went anyway as I felt guilty. As soon as I got there I'm handed Joel to feed and entertain - what a joke. Everyone needs time out I'm no different I think I need to grow some balls and demand time and say no when I don't want to do something. Other people get away with it so why shouldn't I it's not being selfish its to keep me sane and an attempt to enjoy being at home with my kids. 

My Update On Life

Oh boy what a week it's been, I feel very busy at the moment especially at work.  I've been back for nearly 6 weeks already it's so very tiring and I'm starting to feel that burden of having to get up and get ready when my alarm goes off so I'm just waiting for the Sunday night blues to kick in as well but I guess that always comes with work.

I've had to start blogging during my lunch hour now as by the time I get home I have little guy handed to me then the evening just seems to disappear so the last thing I want to do is look at a computer screen after spending all day in front of one.
I am loving the 31 day blog challenge set by Boy Oh Boy it's really getting me thinking lately even if its silly things like what's in your handbag :) as it takes away life worries. I love meeting fellow bloggers as you don't realise how big the community is and most have so much in common it's unreal.

Anyway just a quick post as my lunch hour is now coming to an end but hey how it's FRIDAY :)