Day 20: A difficult time in your life

Day 20 of the 31 day blog challenge -  A difficult time in your life

Not many people know this so I'm actually surprising myself writing it. I had a bout of depression at the end of 2009 onwards although I think I suffered with it before then on and off but was diagnosed Jan 2010. I didn't have any particular nasty experience or loss to trigger it but I felt I was going nowhere in life at that point my job just dragged me down and made me miserable as I wasn't a success at anything, hating where I lived due to neighbours being so inconsiderate (no change there) plus with a 30th birthday approaching fast I just freaked out as I wasn't where I wanted to be and at that point I was obsessed with having a baby which wasn't happening so I was trying to come to terms with not having children and what the hell was I going to do with life.

After some help and trying to re-train my way of thinking (not being so negative) I was on the up which resulted in more opportunity at work and actually working towards a career for myself but that didn't last because out of the blue I found I was pregnant which was amazing as it was the one thing I really wanted. I did have a turn around and I felt much happier and contented but it goes to show you really can't have everything.

It's a couple of years on now and I feel that difficult time is luming once again. I have my little family that I adore so it should be the best time in my life.

With me having to go back to work full time (the same job) and yet again with no career opportunity I just feel at the bottom of the pile yet again and this time missing out on my little man. We still have those noisy neighbours so we hardly get any peace and quiet in our own home and can't move as we have no equity in our house so we are stuck for the time being and after my husband was made redundant the pressure is on me to keep my job. 
I can see no end to the gloomy days, I know people out there have a lot worse to cope with but I would say this is a difficult time in mine and my husbands life but it is the most precious time seeing our little guy grow up.

Withdrawal Symptoms

I haven't been out shopping for a few weeks now especially since starting back at work and hubby being made redundant so really I am not allowed to spend.
I actually walked past My favourite shop Dorothy Perkins on Saturday it even had a 50% off sale banner in the window so I'm proud of myself, I normally think oh I'll just have a look but I didn't even do that and that is saying something......hard times.

I did nip out to Asda today my excuse was 'shall I get tea bags we only have 3 left'. I secretly knew they had another clothing sale that I was itching to go to.
I had a browse picked a few things up but put them down again until I came across a price tag that said £2.50 oh I'm sure that will be alright to spend it was £9 so that's pretty good so I did to fill my hunger of a clothes shop but funny thing is I'm not sure I even like the top.

You may see it in one if my Outfit for £20 posts so keep your eyes open for that one.