What A Year

I haven't been writing my thoughts for sometime so today is a good day I think to reflect. What a year it has been with emotional ups and downs, family fall outs, child behaviour problems, first child starting school and a major stress head at the beginning of the year after coming off medication but I seem to be ending the year stressed but that is mainly due to kids and out of control eating so feel rubbish.

So not the best year but maybe I should look at positives I finally have free time insight to make things happen for myself. I just agreed to train to be an avon leader so I may finally see money and increase my confidence. If not with Avon my youngest son will be starting play group in January so I may see opportunities for a job. I have made some good friends so don't feel as lonely as I did. My husband would like to become a photographer so hopefully things will happen for him.
Ollie has learnt so much already at school he now knows the alphabet, write letters and numbers. Joel's speech has improved no end. So I hope for nicer times in 2016.

First to do is go on a major health kick to lose approx 14lb and feel better about me which will hopefully improve my mood so that would make kids and hubby happier.

Happy New Year xx

Oh Blimey

Uh! I can't control myself, I start the day well with good intentions to be good with food then it goes out the window and I want to eat everything insight. I don't understand why I do it really.

I loved when I got to goal back in November and felt great being a comfortable size 12 but now I'm heading back to 14s and see the wobbly bits again. 

It's worse when stuck in the house on my own with my boys who then make me mad about something I can guarantee it so I head for food and it's always bad food. 

I just used my scales which are always wrong by approx 4/5lb and said 11stone 10lb it was 11stone 5lb other day. I know they aren't correct but it still gives me an idea eek! I definitely think I've put on a stone at least now. 

It's coming up to a year since I started weight watchers programme which was May 3rd. I still track most days but obviously haven't been good. It's actually been a rubbish year so far with food and me in general I need motivation. 

What is up with me today

I've woken up in such a foul mood today and I'm not sure why. I feel like I need to be on my own. I'm wondering if it is because I don't get much time on my own as I always have a child with me when I shower, go to toilet and even at night I tend to have Joel sleeping on me then there is breast feeding every two hours and when I do that Ollie has to sit right next to me most of the time which is lovely but I need some space so I'm actually writing this in the car as I've just been to the nurse for a jab - it's my breathing space before I go home.

I do feel guilty when I snap at Ollie or even the hubby as they haven't really done anything it's me being in a mood, I do hope I snap out of it. I guess it's just a down day :(