Struggling with a two year old

I never imagined how hard having kids would be, I guess no one does until they have them but having a two year old Ollie I now know why they call them terrible twos. 

I used to be a calm, patient, quiet person but omg that is not me anymore. Every day Ollie tests my patience and he pushes it so far I end up shouting to the point my neighbours would hear me very clearly which I hate as they probably think I can't cope. 

He just doesn't listen even when I shout he laughs at me or carries on hitting or doing naughty things. In the end I just have to leave the room to get away from him before I burst.

Tantrum????

I just can't believe how much it has changed me I don't actually like who I have become. I moan so much more about things I just didn't care about like people parking across a pavement so I can't get my double buggy through. I shout - that I never did, I swear - I used to hate swearing or hearing it with a passion. I'm now angry, fed up, and get so frustrated with mess.
I'm longing for quiet and time to myself. Even just to tidy the house.

Anyone else out there who feels this way or am I just rubbish playing mummy?

My 2nd Mummy's Day

Ollie came running to me this morning all smiles with a large heart bag. Inside I had a red with white dot tea pot (very me) and a beautiful card with Ollie and Joel's thumb print inside. 

After that a new Cadbury tray appeared with tea in the pot and a croissant for breakfast plus a milk carton of chocolates yum. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the mums out there.

Out With Two Boys

It was the first time we used the double buggy today, we've been avoiding it as we thought Joel would scream the whole time and that it would be difficult to manoeuvre around shops but due to me having a bad back I was not going to carry Joel in a sling.
Joel was actually okay until we stopped at any point lol! Then he cried but as soon as setting off again he fell asleep. It was Ollie that was the problem as he now just wants to walk everywhere but that's impossible for me especially when I wondered off on my own so to push a buggy, keep hold of Ollie and with a bad back my only solution was to offer him a treat bad I know but what are you to do.
Anyway all in all I didn't find it too bad I did have a spin around a couple of clothes shops just to see if I could fit down isles with a double buggy and yes as expected some areas are a no go but I think that would apply to most buggies to be fair.

In resent weeks I have found having a young baby again does make you realise places do not cater for parents and little ones. We stopped at a petrol station as Joel needed a nappy change but did they have facilities...NO. They had a reasonable sized toilet so plenty of space for a bit of plastic to pull down as a changing station, in the end I had to wipe the floor and put my own mat down on the floor to change him which wasn't very pleasant.
Another thing I'm noticing is the lack of places to breast feed, if you stop in a lot of service stations or coffee shops they are so open wherever you sit which I find stressful and I become reluctant to stop for a drink incase Joel will wake to be feed.

Last week we went out for lunch with family and the place they chose was not particularly good for children as it was small, cramped in fact so I started to feel very anxious as I knew I would have to breast feed at some point. We sat at a table which was surrounded by other people and to top it off a massive mirror at the end of the room so I was horrified as I kept thinking everyone will be able to see me feed but I DID IT, I used my coat as a cushion and my scarf as a cover up so I think I did pretty well, I looked in the mirror and couldn't see any flesh.
Breastfeeding wasn't the only stressful episode we had Ollie too who never sits still for a minute and food was taking a while so he was up, down, up, down on chairs and wasn't being very patient as expected so thankfully grandma packed some crayons and paper to distract him......what would you do without grandparents.

All these things are just making me think I do not want to go out on my own with two children I need another adult with me at all times lol!

How does everyone else cope with more that one child under three.........I'd love to know?

Why Does It Have To Be So Difficult

Little man is being very difficult at the moment, in the day he moans constantly which is so draining and at night he is so active it can be 11pm before we actually get him to sleep. I just don't know what to do half the time.
We have always had problems with him sleeping but at one years old you'd think that would be behind us. He is so unpredictable, for a few weeks he started to go to bed by 8.30-9pm which was amazing as we actually had a couple hours of mummy and daddy wind down time and he sometimes slept through until 7.30-8am which was a dream but since he's been Ill at easter we are lucky to get him in his cot by 10pm it's so stressful especially as you get rudely awaken by either a crying Ollie or noisy neighbours at stupid times in the morning.

I'm exhausted especially now I'm back at work. When I get home mummy mode has to switch on but in the evenings and at weekends I just want to sleep but I can't so I end up being very grouchy and snappy. I hope things change as I don't know how I can carry on like this.

I never imagined that being a mummy would be so difficult.

Mummy's Little Boy

22.04.11 6 days old

17.04.11 Day after birth

I've been looking back over the last year with my little man in pictures from the very first day to this week eating ice cream. I can't believe how quickly this first year has gone with only two weeks until Ollie's first birthday.

The changes so far are massive so I can't imagine what another year will bring. A Few pics here to share my year so far with the little guy.

03.06.11 about 6 weeks old

My last Friday with just me and my little man before the changes begin. Hubby finishes work today and I will start back on Wednesday, what timing. At least it will be daddy looking after little man for a bit which makes it a little easier on me in the mornings as I won't have to rush around getting myself and little man ready then drop him off at a childminder then for me to get to work on time. I think I would have been exhausted before my day even started.
It is a daunting feeling going back to work after a year off although as I said last week I think I may need it as the whinging is starting to get to me especially when it's a lot of the day it starts to grate on you.

19.06.11 2 months old

I think Ollie is getting to the stage where he needs a lot more  stimulation as his toys do not seem to be enough, some days the toy box we keep downstairs is left alone all day, he even seems fed up with his Jumperoo.
I've been trying to get him out and about mixing with other children which he seems to enjoy and he's loving the soft play centres but it's not something you can do everyday so at the moment he seems happy emptying my shoe box, playing with empty boxes and balloons I have left over from my birthday. Sometimes the simple things are the best.

24.09.11 5 months

Over the past week Ollie has decide he wants to walk the majority of the time now which is so sweet because he has this grin on his face when he does it. We nipped into the supermarket quickly the other day and all Ollie wanted to do was get down and walk so we let him and he actually walked the full length of the isle but as soon as I picked him up he screamed the place down (nightmare).

28.09.11

02.10.11

17.01.12 9 Months Old

He was given his first pair of shoes yesterday which we need to test out, hopefully he will not scream the house down like he normally does when he has socks on. I can't always put sleep suits on him now because of the feet he screams and screeches until I take it off.
It's utter madness I feel like this house is never quiet anymore because this little person will not allow it.

24.03.12

Well I hope you like the pictures I have so many more but these are just a sneaky peak of me and Ollie over the year.

28.03.12 11 months old

One Friday Left

Sleeping...yay!

Oh my I only have one Friday left being at home with my little terror. Only a couple of months ago I had tears at the thought of it, I couldn't bare it but the last few weeks have been very testing and it's made me wonder if going back to work will be a god send after all.

It will be nice to get dressed up and not get messed up by grubby hands for once and have a little freedom to be me again. I also need a break from saying no Ollie, don't do that, leave it alone...no...no...no Ollie.

Kidsworld

In an ideal world I would prefer part time so I have the best of both worlds as I do like to be able to go out when I like and take the little man to see and do things especially now he's heading for one he is interested in the world around him.

Yesterday we went to kidsworld which he loved. It was quite an eye opener for me as most of the kids there seemed to be with childminders but they were chatting and drinking coffee while the kids got on with it. No wonder they pestered me which was alittle annoying when I wanted to be with my child with "whats your name", "can you push me", "can you...." , uh leave me alone. It just made me think do we really pay silly amounts on childcare for the carers to just sit there nattering. I really do think Mummy and daddy really are best, so whatever the future holds for us I would like to avoid childcare as much as possible and work it between myself and my husband. 


As I start back at work my hubby leaves his work (redundancy) so he will be looking after Ollie the explorer until he finds himself another job which I reckon by the first or second day at home he will be longing to escape because I have a feeling he may just pull the rest of his hair out.

Happy Mother's Day

My very first Mother's Day today which is a weird feeling as I am a mummy to a gorgeous little boy which I never imagined I'd have and its forever, that is a responsibility.

My Present

I think I was 25 when I first started getting broody but I wanted to get married before I had a child, I think I'm a bit old fashioned that way but it was another 3 years before I finally got a ring on my finger then a month after that we started trying for a baby which was a very difficult time as after each month I was left disappointed and started to get so obsessed, everywhere I looked I saw baby bumps I was so jealous because i wanted one so badly. I remember being in a clothes shop and I saw this very young mum ignoring her child then looked down to see she had a baby bump and just felt so angry because I thought she probably wasn't even bothered I maybe wrong but when it's the only thing you want it's hard to smile especially when you see mums shouting at there kids as you just think they don't realise how lucky they are.

After a year of trying I started to come to terms that it may never happen so wondered what I could do with my life. I suggested to my husband we should sell everything and go travelling as why do we need a house, why do we need to be slaves to jobs, why do we need all this stuff if we aren't going to have a family so why don't we just enjoy life and do what we want to do - he wasn't keen as he loves his stuff he has collected over the years but I just didn't understand. This was my positive thinking for the future without children I carried on thinking this way then I had an opportunity at work which lifted my spirits as it meant I may actually work towards a worthwhile career and enjoy it and then BOOM it happened I found I was 5 weeks pregnant my thoughts were woohoo! Omg, is this really what I want, worry, scared, nervous as I actually have to give birth but while thinking these things I had a smile on my face this is what I have wanted - it took approx 14 months to get there but I was actually going to have a baby.

I've now been a mum for 11 months and it has been the best thing that has happened to me and the hardest as it really does turn your life upside down.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mums, mums to be and want to be mums out there.

Follow A Newbie Friday

I think this is a fantastic idea from Slummy Mummy I read her post last week about following other blogs every Friday so I wanted to have a go as it's a great blogging community out there that need to be recognised.

I've only come across a handful this week that have taken my eye as I love mummy stuff, arty stuff and beauty stuff so here are a few I have followed this week:

• Thirty Mummy - I love the posts Thirty Mummy writes as they really bring it home so much I had to comment on a few of her posts.

• Hapi-Ness Only today I came across Hapi-Ness because they have similar interests to me, all things pretty and making things.

I have started another blog (Mummy Beautiful) relating to Fashion and beauty and have been inspired by two mummy bloggers

• My Pretty Mummy- UK Style and Beauty Blog
• Would Like To Be A Yummy Mummy

Hopefully next week I will have a few more to share but join in and Follow a Newbie Friday